Where I is after a couple years of this shit.

So I pitched it all and moved back to northern Kalifornia.

I had hoped that by changing everything (job, location, life, etc.) I would somehow change what I was.

But, after six months, I find that I'm the same old thing. I still work 70+ hour weeks, I still spend my off hours drinking too much, doing pointless things, wasting paper and bandwidth writing pointless shit that nobody reads, and wishing that I was capable of something more.


I am still more lonely than I would like to be, and fatter than I would like to be, and balder than I would like to be, and more stressed out than I would like to be, and more burned out than I would like to be, and more pissed off than I would like to be, and no closer to doing anything even remotely useful with my life.

Guess a thing really shouldn't get these uppity notions of personhood.