Damn, now this shit is ruined... (Or musings on the current socio-economic hierarchy and the decay of western civilization)

Say for the sake of argument that you're cruising the Internet looking for free porn... You know, to get a little quality self abuse in before bedtime... What would really really ruin your mood?

Wait... Let's back up a bit.

How do you think you would react if, (while cruising the Internet looking for free porn) you stumbled upon a rather poorly made amateur pornographic production which appeared to be featuring someone who you thought you knew getting their brains fucked out by a person or person's you didn't know (if the thought of this being someone you truly love or care about too uncomfortable for you feel free to imagine someone who's just an attractive friend, maybe someone who's a bit of both, whatever it takes to imagine this scenario in 3D, I'll leave it up to you to fill in your own blanks here, choose whatever individuals, styles, and additional equipment you need to flesh this concept out for you and make it personal within your own limits of comfort... The personal connection is important though, if any of the rest of this has any hope at all of making sense... It's ok, it's complicated I know, I'll wait...)



Ok, got the image now?

Good, let's continue shall we.



Would you feel compelled to watch?

Would it make you feel sick?

Would you maybe feel both?

Suppose you chose to watch, just for a bit (not even necessarily for the wanking value, but for the total train wreck mystique of it).

Do you think it would set you to considering the artistic merits of pornography?

Would this in turn cause you to consider the pornographic nature of the world we live in?

I mean, in reality isn't pornography a truly fitting artistic representation of modern society?


Someone gets paid some money, and in return they agree to allow another wealthier/more powerful/more persuasive/whatever person do things to them in order to make more money. They are basically agreeing to let themselves be fucked so that someone else (usually someone with no actual skin in the game... pun intended) can make a major profit. The person being paid to surrender their power may enjoy the things that are being done, they may not, but whatever their personal feelings they are obligated to pretend to like it, or there will be punitive repercussions. (this obviously being a career that values a strong customer service background)

Sometimes you can see it in the eyes. A sort of desperate terrified cornered animal look... A look of total lucidity as the individual realizes that the whole of their life has been reduced to a few tawdry minutes on some sort of recorded media, and that (in most instances) they agreed to the situation by what they took to be their own free will.

The surrender of the self for the sake of profit.

Does this not sound like an artistic representation of modern society?

Then there are the ones who have been doing it longer...
The ones who have long since lost or buried all but the most basic parts of their personalities.

You can see it in their eyes too...

They don't blink often.

They kind of seem to be staring at something very far away.

They tend to say the same things over and over, no real passion behind the lines, just the need to complete the job.

The bodies appear to be vibrant and healthy and very much alive, they are engaged in an activity that most living folks enjoy, an activity that is (by it's very definition) one of the cornerstones of life, but the eyes are dead... Nothing looks out from them to indicate any sort of joy or pain or greed or sorrow or lust or revulsion.

Just going through the motions.

Mechanical.

Healthy vibrant individuals, engaged in healthy vibrant activities, with dead dead eyes.

Does this not strike you as a poetic statement of the futility of the human condition?

Now before I get all the porn stars out there pissed off at me for overgeneralizing this, I will admit that there are likely some folks in the pornography business who truly enjoy what they're doing... Who find the work liberating and rewarding, and who feel that they are amply compensated for their efforts... That's fine, and I can accept that, and maybe all the folks involved feel that way, they just put on an act because they figure it will improve their market value... I really don't know, and it really doesn't enter into this rant.

So many questions seem to pop up here.

I mean, if you stumbled onto a video where you saw someone you knew, or thought you knew (of legal consenting age etc.) engaged in this pursuit, and you kept watching for just a bit because you couldn't quite make yourself turn it off in time, and you could swear that you saw in their eyes a subtle transition, first from the person you knew to the first description I mentioned above, and then from that to the second description I mentioned above...

What effect, if any would it have on you?

If you saw this individual again in person, would you mention it to them or keep it to yourself?

Either way, could you make yourself look them in the eye?

Would you want to?

How long could you go without telling this person what you had seen?

Days?

Months?

Years?

If you did tell them, or they told you, how would you react? (Sometimes saying something out loud makes can make it more real than witnessing it)

Would you flip out?

Would you pretend that it was no big deal?

For you, would it truly be no big deal?

Would you try to make the person feel comfortable?

Would you offer sympathy?

Support?

Congratulations?

Would you pretend to be sympathetic and supportive, but secretly (for whatever personal, or moral, or religious reason) harbor unkind feelings for this individual?

Would you thank them for trying so hard to get you off?

Would you ask for an autographed copy?

How would you handle the situation? (yes, you, the random strangers who are bored or desperate or unfortunate enough to read this... except for you there with the lotion... I'm not telling you which site, or how recently, or which individual, or what connection I have with the aforementioned individual, so zip up and move on please.)

If this individual was comfortable with their decision, or even happy with it, would it affect your opinion of them?

How would it affect the way you related to the individual?

If they were really broken up or damaged by the experience, do you think you have what it takes to help them come to terms with it?



So many decisions.

So many ways to fuck up.

Like the wide wonderful world of Internet porn, there are just too many choices.