More Tired than Angry

You know it's in the title for a reason,
but that reason probably isn't what you think.

I'm often more tired than angry.

Seems hard to get angry anymore,
or to feel much of anything most days.

Maybe mild irritation at best.


And the thing that sometimes scares the hell out of me is that (these last couple of years especially) I've had more and more instances when I was cognizant of not feeling anything (even when I know I should).

I'm not talking about the big things obviously, you know, people dying or exiting my life in other ways. 
I still feel. 
It's just that it seems muted somehow, and the day to day joys and sorrows, the little things, well they just don't seem to be there anymore.

I wonder if it's a function of age.
I wonder if it's hormonal.

But I am still tired.
I honestly can't remember a time when I didn't feel tired.
And I do still get angry on occasion.
And I do feel sadness when it's appropriate (though not as strongly as I use to)
And my testicles itch.
So at least I know that I do still feel things.

Just wish I could pick something else once in a while.
I know, I know, first world problems.

Lots of folks have it worse and I shouldn't bitch.

But sometimes I still do.

Oh well, shift 1 down, shift two coming up...
Time to stop being a pussy.