The empty spots

My sister keeps having to remind herself that she can't ask him questions about things anymore.

I keep having to remind myself not to set aside books, or videos, or interesting bits of tech for him.

My mom just sort of putters around trying to tell us that she's done with the process, that her whole interest was in the life that was led, and now that that has come to an end she's no longer worried about it...

We go over every day or two to make sure that she is still doing things like eating and showering and such.

They were together for 43 years.


My niece seems to be taking things in stride, she's sad and misses him.

The rest of us have the sadness along with a great deal of anger over the complete incompetence exhibited by some of the doctors (it's true what they say, the nurses are there to keep the doctors from killing you... only in this case there weren't enough qualified nurses)


So I'm keeping myself busy.

Restless but don't want to go back to work before the funeral because I know that it'll be months before I can take time off again, and I don't want to miss it.

The funeral home must hate us.  No embalming, brought in our own plywood casket, already have a plot lined up...

The guy always was a touch over-prepared...

Think I'm going to miss that most of all, having someone to just sit around and talk to who understood what I was talking about and didn't need things explained to him.


He said he wanted us to howl at the moon after he was gone, and hopefully on the 20th we will (assuming we're all still in the area and not working)

Seems a fitting that we should have a full moon on the summer solstice.  Though I'm in a decidedly winter solstice mood at the moment.


I always get self destructive when I'm mourning.  I think it has something to do with wanting to remind myself that I'm alive. 

Wonder what form it'll take this time (alcoholic, horndog, tattoo canvas, bar brawler, or all of the above).