A day in the life of a modern renaissance man

Wake up,
Cuss,
Get out of bed,
Kick left foot into steel chair leg,
Cuss,
Stumble around in the darkness searching for the bathroom,
Find bathroom,
Brush teeth,
Bathe,
Realize that sliver of soap won't last out the week,
Cuss,
Lose sliver of soap down the shower drain,
Cuss,
Wash with powdered laundry detergent instead,
Get dressed,
Eat cold breakfast,
Eat handful of caffeinated breath mints,
Search for car keys,
Cuss,
Try to get car started,
Fail,
Cuss,
Hitch ride to work,
Go to work at job A,
Get chewed out by boss for being late,
Cuss,
Work,
Cuss,
Go to work at job B,
Realize that the job B planning commission are all morons,
Cuss,
Work,
Cuss,
Hitch ride home,
Put feet up,
Remember "To Do" list,
Decide to put it off,
Read paper,
Cuss,
Remember that you have no food and that all your clothes are dirty,
Discover that car actually does start, but only when it dosen't matter,
Drive to Laundromat,
Do laundry,
Look through want adds for possible job C,
Cuss,
Buy groceries,
Realize you don't have the money for decent food,
Cuss,
Give up on groceries and buy beer instead,
Go home,
Drink,
Cuss,
Drink,
Cuss,
Drink,
Cuss,
Write on the computer,
Think about how long its been since the last time you got laid,
Cuss,
Remember that laundry is still at Laundromat,
Cuss,
Realize that you have to be back at job A in less than 5 hours,
Cuss,
Decide to retrieve any surviving laundry in the morning,
Cuss,
Go to bed,
Lay awake obsessing about laundry,
Get up,
Cuss,
Walk to Laundromat because your still too drunk to drive,
Realize your also too drunk to remember clothing,
Cuss,
Carry what laundry hasn't been stolen back to your shitty little basement apartment,
Cuss,
More beer,
Cuss,
Resolve in future to invest in whiskey,
Cuss,
Fall asleep on laundry pile.

*******

Wake up....