Subtlety

So I've got a couple of people that I deal with in my life.

One I deal with regularly in a professional capacity, the other not so regularly anymore (though she use to be a large part of my existance).

I try to be an easy going guy, I really do.

But the one I deal with in a professional capacity keeps dropping not-so-subtile hints that he had more than the usuall amount of friendly contact with the one who use to be a large part of my existance (while she was, in fact, a large part of my existance).

Now I usually try to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but when the same person takes unplanned three or four day weekends at least once a month and calls in sick every time I try to take a long weekend to spend with someone outside of work, well I get suspicious. 

But I try to be a good guy and not be too jealous.

And when this same co-worker gives me a snotty little wink while bragging about how great he is at noticing patterns, well I bite my tongue and try very hard not to notice.

And when I announce (now that I'm no longer really a part of the other individuals life) that I'm taking a long weekend, and said individual comes to me in a panic and wants to know why...  Well let's just call it a confirmation of sorts.


Now some of you are probably asking "why are you putting up with this?"  "Why don't you just grow a pair and deal with him?"   Well, the answer is simple. 

I'm his boss and I'm twice his size.

I'm twice his size, several years younger, many many times stronger (he's never done any actual labor in his life) and far more experienced when it comes to physical confrontation.

In short I'm fairly sure that if I let myself lose control I wouldn't be able to keep both of us alive and out of jail.

Just that simple.

I'm not willing to spend the next two dozen years in prison because of the behavior of a couple of folks who hold me in such low regard.

Their little game is not worth my freedom.

So I have to be the butt of their little joke.  Talk their little shit about what a sucker I am, and silently smirk about how much smarter and more clever they are, and how stupid and oblivious I must be (as I've not confronted them about this for the aforementioned reasons). 

All the same though, I wish he'd learn to shut the fuck up.

My outwardly calm demeanor is not a sign of idiocy.

And I am not a man of infinite patience.






All life is a test.
Some days we pass, some days we fail.
The only thing you can do is give it your best and try to be ready for the day when that won't be enough.

- Murph -