Disposable

disˈpōzəbəl

adjective

adjective: disposable

1. (of an article) intended to be used once, or until no longer useful, and then thrown away.

   • (of a person or idea) able to be dispensed with; easily dismissed.
2. (chiefly of financial assets) readily available for the owner's use as required.

noun

noun: disposable; plural noun: disposables

1. an article designed to be thrown away after use.

Oh Boy!  Time to whine on the internet! 

 

 

I don't think I've ever really understood people. 

Why they do the things they do. 

Act the way they act.

 

I don't understand this deep seated need in some folks to try to hide their motivations, attitudes, core values (the ones they actually live by, not the ones they publicly endorse).

 

I mean, if a friend were to walk up to me one day and say 'dude, you know you're a dick and I'm only hanging around because I want to nail your girlfriend', or a lover were to say out of the blue 'you know what,  I was only sticking around because I thought you could pay off my debts and give me a comfortable life, but I really just can't stand the sight of you anymore, leave me alone'.  It would be very painful.  It would hurt like hell, but I would at least know where I stood with that person, and I could remove myself from their sphere of awareness, quit wasting my efforts  and move on.

 

I understand, have always understood that the vast majority of people view each other as disposable assets. 

It stung learning that at first, but age has lead to acceptance (even at times a certain pride in the fact that I can survive, have survived this long in a world where sometimes the only thing that kept me alive was someone elses unwillingness to deal with the minor inconvenience that could be caused by my ceasing to exist). 

And acceptance has led me to a point where I can accept the possibility that I may someday view other people as disposable assets without feeling that I'm violating some personal version of morality. 

 

I've yet to make full use of this, but I'm learning.  In time I figure I'll work it into my repertoire of human interaction techniques, but until then I can at least accept that this is the way the majority of people view each other, and plan accordingly.

 

What I don't understand are the ones who hold this very common view, but want so desperately for me to believe that they don't.

 

I'm not even talking about the ones who are trying to sucker a response out of me.  I'm talking about the ones who, when I call them on their bullshit, and ask for a clear concise list of what they want from the interaction so that we can hopefully reach some amicable middle ground, insist that they truly care, that they're oh so honest, oh so loyal, oh so caring... 

Pure unadulterated 100% USDA Grade AA Bullshit.

 

I know it's bullshit.

 

They know it's bullshit.

 

Why do they keep doing it?

 

 

Is it to spare my feelings?

 

I don't see why.  If someone wanted to spare my feelings they wouldn't screw with them in the first place.

 

Is it because they think honesty will put them in a weaker position at some point in the future?

 

Do they think that I'm foolish enough to equate what a person says with their actual motives? (especially when their behavior does not seem consistent with their espoused beliefs)

 

Fuck if I know.

 

I suck at dealing with people, that's why I try not to if it can be avoided.

 

That's why I post my own whiny bullshit on the internet where it won't draw any attention.

 

That's why I figure it's a good thing I have no children, and no real plans on having them... 

 

No need to pass this level of social ineptitude on to another generation.

 

 

 

 

Or, to put it more succinctly...