Perception

Well I've seen the writing, listened to the thinly veiled hints, convinced myself of one thing, convinced myself of another.

But between the ever cooling reception I get and the pictures which seemingly supporting the fact that she's moved on, I guess it's time for me to start seriously thinking of doing the same. 

My capacity for self deception never ceases to amaze me at times. 

I knew better than to get back in touch, knew it would tear me apart when the inevitable came to pass, but I did it anyway because a part of me wanted to believe that I'd been wrong, that I'd mis-read the situation, that there was still hope.

But apparently I was the only one thinking that way, and I really have no right to be surprised by that. 

Unpleasant as it is to know that our one sterling bright moment is gone, at least now I can try to move on without further deluding myself into thinking that I was ever more than a fleeting fancy, a way to pass the time while she was on her way elsewhere. 

Time to man up and power through, got another long week ahead and I'm the only person who can see myself through to the end of it.

In truth it's probably better that way.

When I'm alone I don't have to worry about anyone else's well being.

When I'm alone I'm the only one who can be hurt.

That can be liberating in it's own way, all it takes is an adjustment of perception.