Nostalgia
There's a trick to having a cigarette put out on you, or maybe you'd call it a kind of knack.
See most folks instinctively pull away from the ember.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's natural to pull away from pain, but being natural doesn't necessarily make it the right course of action. In this, as in many other things, a positive outcome is contingent on not following ones instincts and doing something that goes against the fundamental nature of our species.
If you pull away you extend the amount of time that the burning matter is in contact with your flesh.
The trick is to embrace the pain, embrace the knowledge that you are going to be hurt, you are going to get burned and you have no control over that.
You have no control over the pain that others will inflict on you, but you may be able to choose the manner in which the pain is inflicted so that you're being burned on your own terms. It doesn't seem like much, but it makes all the difference in the world. It's the difference between being a helpless victim and being an unwilling participant. The difference between being someone else's property and being an otherwise dignified individual temporarily inconvenienced by conditions and circumstances that are beyond your control.
If (and this part takes some practice so don't expect to master it right away) you can force yourself to push the body part being burned into the cigarette (and in a sort of sideways shearing motion) then you can often either crush the cherry quickly (lessening the severity of the burn), or knock it off onto the ground where it's less likely to burn you at all (or at least not seriously enough that it'll still be noticeable after a couple of days).
It's important to note, however, that this trick hinges on your ability to move.
If the person who's decided to make you their personal ashtray is savvy they might pin you down in such a way that you can't move, and that allows them to exercise total control over how long the ember burns, and now deep the burn goes.
If that's the case then you're S.O.L.
In that situation your only options are to grin and bear it, hope that you don't suffer any permanent damage, and try not to cry out too much as that will only excite your assailant even more (leading to longer and deeper burns, and [assuming you're incapable of driving off the friend or family member who is taking it upon themselves to teach you this valuable life lesson] more frequent assaults).
In the end I think this was possibly one of the most simple and most valuable lessons I learned during my formative years.
It applies to so many other facets of daily existence.
In the real world, this little hard earned kernel of insight has helped me out of more situations; seen more practical use than all of the trigonometry, calculus, and finite algebra that I spent so many months learning and then forgetting.
I found myself thinking of this the other day.
I was getting the outline portion of a fairly elaborate tattoo over a part of my body that had several faded scars on it.
A series of old cigarette burns.
A couple of pock marks.
And a faded, nearly invisible with age, upside down cross that was carved into my arm by a couple of "true believers" when I was a teenager. Good christian boys who took it upon themselves to whoop the love of jesus into me for not going to the right church, not buying into their anti-abortion crap, not staying away from the good christian girls, and for listening to that evil devil music.
Fine upstanding lads who felt that I needed to be marked so that people would know that I was "from the devil".
Of course, they did a half assed job at it (I wasn't a willing participant... I saw a picture of one of them a couple years back and his nose is still kinda crooked).
The "mark" has all but faded out over the last twenty some odd years. Even after I shaved that area, I had to look really really close to find it.
But it still feels good to know that by the end of next year it will be completely covered by something that will hopefully be beautiful.
On my terms.
See most folks instinctively pull away from the ember.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's natural to pull away from pain, but being natural doesn't necessarily make it the right course of action. In this, as in many other things, a positive outcome is contingent on not following ones instincts and doing something that goes against the fundamental nature of our species.
If you pull away you extend the amount of time that the burning matter is in contact with your flesh.
The trick is to embrace the pain, embrace the knowledge that you are going to be hurt, you are going to get burned and you have no control over that.
You have no control over the pain that others will inflict on you, but you may be able to choose the manner in which the pain is inflicted so that you're being burned on your own terms. It doesn't seem like much, but it makes all the difference in the world. It's the difference between being a helpless victim and being an unwilling participant. The difference between being someone else's property and being an otherwise dignified individual temporarily inconvenienced by conditions and circumstances that are beyond your control.
If (and this part takes some practice so don't expect to master it right away) you can force yourself to push the body part being burned into the cigarette (and in a sort of sideways shearing motion) then you can often either crush the cherry quickly (lessening the severity of the burn), or knock it off onto the ground where it's less likely to burn you at all (or at least not seriously enough that it'll still be noticeable after a couple of days).
It's important to note, however, that this trick hinges on your ability to move.
If the person who's decided to make you their personal ashtray is savvy they might pin you down in such a way that you can't move, and that allows them to exercise total control over how long the ember burns, and now deep the burn goes.
If that's the case then you're S.O.L.
In that situation your only options are to grin and bear it, hope that you don't suffer any permanent damage, and try not to cry out too much as that will only excite your assailant even more (leading to longer and deeper burns, and [assuming you're incapable of driving off the friend or family member who is taking it upon themselves to teach you this valuable life lesson] more frequent assaults).
In the end I think this was possibly one of the most simple and most valuable lessons I learned during my formative years.
It applies to so many other facets of daily existence.
In the real world, this little hard earned kernel of insight has helped me out of more situations; seen more practical use than all of the trigonometry, calculus, and finite algebra that I spent so many months learning and then forgetting.
I found myself thinking of this the other day.
I was getting the outline portion of a fairly elaborate tattoo over a part of my body that had several faded scars on it.
A series of old cigarette burns.
A couple of pock marks.
And a faded, nearly invisible with age, upside down cross that was carved into my arm by a couple of "true believers" when I was a teenager. Good christian boys who took it upon themselves to whoop the love of jesus into me for not going to the right church, not buying into their anti-abortion crap, not staying away from the good christian girls, and for listening to that evil devil music.
Fine upstanding lads who felt that I needed to be marked so that people would know that I was "from the devil".
Of course, they did a half assed job at it (I wasn't a willing participant... I saw a picture of one of them a couple years back and his nose is still kinda crooked).
The "mark" has all but faded out over the last twenty some odd years. Even after I shaved that area, I had to look really really close to find it.
But it still feels good to know that by the end of next year it will be completely covered by something that will hopefully be beautiful.
On my terms.
posted by Murph | 4:23 AM
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