Nervous Breakdown? Ass Cancer? Male Menopause?

Gestalt analysis

I don't know why, but over the last couple of years I seem to be getting more and more unhinged by things that use to not bother me, and by unexpected things.

I use to be much better at just walking away from things
from people
from myself.

I use to be much better at laughing off the heartache,
or at least drinking until I could convince myself it wasn't real.

But lately, this last year or so especially I seem to bounce back and forth between crippling loneliness,  sadness over what has passed, and an almost overwhelming urge to believe that it was never real to begin with.  That it was all part of some elaborate con, and that I should have known better.

I didn't use to have such a tender ego.

I use to be able to face truth, even unpleasant truth head on.

Or at least I thought I could.

It shouldn't be so hard to say 'it was a wonderful time, but now it's over because I'm not the person she was looking for'
but on my bad days I still can't help but wonder.

Anyway, that's what this seems to have become for me now.

A place to bitch

to vent my  mood swings so that I don't inflict them on the people around me

I sure hope it's something to do with diet or hormones or something, and not a serious indicator of physical or mental illness.








When we deny the EVIL within ourselves, we dehumanize ourselves, and we deprive ourselves not only of our own destiny but of any possibility of dealing with the EVIL of others. 
― J. Robert Oppenheimer ―