Not so far through the woods as I thought

So the relative I was concerned about took a turn for the worse on Friday and nearly OD'd on alcohol and pills.

I don't really want to post details here because this is the internet and you never know who is watching (and I don't have specifics yet anyway, just enough to boil another ulcer into my stomach lining)

Stress kills, but what do you do with someone who is unable or unwilling to reduce the amount of stress they're going through?

I mean for me it was easier, I just drank a lot and when the alcoholism destroyed my health I had to sober up and learn not to give a shit.   I will admit, discovering cannabis a couple years ago (decades later than most folks do) helped me through some rocky times.  And even though I've been completely straight edge clean from everything for about half a year now, I know that it had a lot to do with me learning how to better cope with the stress in my life.

But I can't advocate drug abuse, especially not to someone who is already abusing prescription drugs (a game which has killed a couple of people I've cared about over the years, including I believe one short angry young lady who I developed a particular affinity for a couple of years back).  And realistically I think in the case of this particular individual it would just make things worse at this point in time.  I mean I had been stone sober for nearly three years before I made my foray into 'herbal medicine', and I had already spent years learning to control my other addictions.  This person has yet to do that.

So I'm trying to keep a positive mindset.

Trying to be supportive.

And hoping I don't end up in the awkward position of having to tell this person's child about them in the third person someday.


How is it that I keep outliving people?

I wasn't supposed to live this long
didn't expect to have much staying power
I don't take particularly good care of myself
and I'm not a particularly happy, competent or decent person.

I've buried much better people over the years
and mourned their passing.


Guess life's just kinda funny that way.