Who says I'm paranoid? (Really, who said that? I want names!!!)

So I keep getting these phone calls on my personal phone. Now, I should explain, I tend to treat the phone like I treat the door... Meaning I don't answer unless I have a pretty good idea who's on the other side. So anyway, I keep getting these phone calls on my personal phone (five or six in the last week, then a couple the week before, and a couple last month, spaced out for the last three or four months), and the calls all come from phones that were registered in the (703) area code (Northern Virginia, just west of D.C. and just north of Quantico). Now, I don't know anyone in northern Virginia, and I haven't known anyone in D.C. or Quantico for a long-ass time, so the question is, who the fuck is calling my phone? Guess I could go out on a limb and answer it, but for some reason I have a compelling urge to take the earpiece apart before I do. And I notice that, at some point in the last month 8751 people decided to visit this blog... More than twice as many as have been here since I started doing this... Hmmm. Yep, they're out to get me. Must be the aliens. They're in it with the government. Any minute now Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, and some little guys with gigantic fuckin heads are going to swoop down in a flying saucer and cart my aging fat ass off to some secret facility so that they can ask me some "probing" questions... Or... There's a glitch on blogger, and some telemarketer in Alexandria really really wants me to save on my long distance phone bill. Damn, reality's no fun. Well, off to drink my fluoridated tap water, consume my recommended dose of network television programming, stare at my computer screen, chug my government approved drugs and try to get some sleep so that I can keep being a good consumer and a productive member of society.