Been managing it pretty well so far, trying to save up enough for a dentist, but these last couple of weeks have been a little unpleasant.
It's starting to affect my concentration.
Kinda funny in a sad sort of way. I've worked through other more serious injuries, but this is much more distracting than it should be.
I mean I once worked through three broken fingers, two broken ribs and a concussion (all at the same time). Hell, I walked (10 miles a day, ankle deep in pressure washed filth) on an abscessed foot for 19 months while I was saving up enough to get the minor operation to fix it.
I don't know whether it's old age or indoor living that has made me so soft, turned me into such a colossal pussy.
But it looks like I'm headed back into debt again... to see to what should be a minor inconvenience... again...
So earlier this week some old friends of mine and I had a bit of a suicide scare with another of our old friends. (one of the group of us who've known each other for decades)
He pulled through it. (some back story, this guy is a truly tough motherfucker, but he's been essentially crippled with a severe back injury and in constant pain for close to a decade following a work related injury with another of those lovely little employers who figured it would be cheaper to hire a lawyer than pay a comp claim... but I digress)
Anyway, I was talking about it to another friend of mine (one I've known for a decade or more, who has helped snap me out of some dark times, and who I've done the same for). And I was really surprised by her reaction.
She actually seemed a little offended that this guy would consider killing himself, and went on at great length about the people she's met who have kept going through obscenely long odds with no hope of recovery. And you know, it just struck me as wrong.
Now I like this person, as I said we've been friends for a long time, and will continue to be friends for a long time... Hell, I kinda helped her not fuck up her current relationship with her baby-daddy.
But I was really surprised by her response.
See, I don't like it when my friends kill themselves.
It's happened several times over the years.
For a lot of different reasons.
and it sucks...
But, that said, I can understand why a person would. And in some cases I can respect the decision.
I'm not necessarily talking about the 'my life is shit right now' thing. Or even some of the depression issues I've ranted about on here before. I'm talking about serious, prolonged physical pain with no relief and no reason to stay alive. Yeah, I said it, no reason. And I'm not saying it to be cruel. If I were in a position where the people around me were taken care of, nobody was relying on me to take care of them for anything, I was a drain on the world around me, and in constant pain... I can guarantee that I would consider it... I'm not saying it's right or wrong, only that I can understand it and try to respect the decisions of folks who decide to go that way.
But I think the thing that bothered me I think is that it got me thinking about suicide laws, specifically euthanasia laws.
See recently there have been several cases where the police have been called to help a suicidal individual, and ended up killing them (there was a lady in my area a few years back that they shot something like 27 times because she was suicidal and brandishing a flare).
And at the same time I remember the Kavorkian case from the 90's. And it occurs to me that the whole point of suicide and euthanasia laws is not to prevent the moral corruption of our fair land, but to exercise control over the individual.
I mean let's face it...
How much more power can you exercise over a person than to tell them when and where they are allowed to die?
Ultimately that's what it boils down to.
And all the 'will of god' , 'sanctity of life', 'it'll be abused by crooked family members' bullshit is really just a clever way of obscuring the very clear, very personal position of power that a person or entity has when it denies another the death of their choosing.
Now this doesn't mean I want folks to kill themselves, that I encourage them to, that I don't do anything if someone tells me they plan to.
It means that, deep down, I feel a person has a right to. Just as they have the right to do any number of other things that I don't agree with, so long as they aren't endangering anyone else.
This sort of thinking leads to a very slippery logical slope.
If I can tell you when you're allowed to die, I am essentially saying that I have a better idea of how to live your life than you do.
This means that I can also tell you what you are allowed to put in your body.
Who you're allowed to associate with.
How you're allowed to make a living.
What you're allowed to think.
Who you're allowed to love.
What you're allowed to believe in.
The list goes on.
And it can all be traced back to this one fundamental idea, that a government, or a church, or a company knows more about your life than you do...
And that just rankles.
Anyway, just an opinion, probably wrong (I'm sure there are a number of folks who would say so if they read this).
