Another Spring

I'm rapidly reaching a point where I can't throw a dart at a calendar between February and June without hitting the anniversary of someone or another shuffling off this mortal coil.

But I have a new job

A fresh start at a fresh life

Regular sleep (so far as folks like me are capable of sleeping regularly).

I have enough to eat.

I have a roof over my head.

I even live someplace where I can have a pet now.

I'm getting in shape.

I'm going out into the world (in a non-work related way)

And most nights I don't wake up screaming, or coughing out the smell of my nightmares.  Or with afterimages burned to the inside of my eyelids from things I would rather not have seen, found, stumbled across or experienced.

So in all life is good.

Everything is good.

So why don't I get to feel it?