Parthenogenesis

I'm not feeling my sharpest this week, so I'll apologize in advance if I ramble on more than usual.


Ok, today let us talk about the nature of the known universe, our place in it, and what if anything can or should be done about it.

As any fan of the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy knows, when we allow for statistically insignificant outliers the sum population of the universe drops to zero.
 

("Simple mathematics tells us that the population of the Universe must be zero.
Why?
Well given that the volume of the universe is infinite there must be an infinite number of worlds. But not all of them are populated; therefore only a finite number are. Any finite number divided by infinity is zero, therefore the average population of the Universe is zero, and so the total population must be zero."
― Douglas Adams ―)

 

So life is essentially a statistical anomaly.

Now, at first blush there are two ways we can take this, and surprisingly they are not mutually exclusive (though instinctively one might think they were).

The first assumption would be that life has no meaning.

After all, how could something so insignificant have any net meaning in the grand scheme of things?
Nothing we do during life really has any lasting impact, and within a very short time (again in the grand scheme of things) we won't even be a memory.  At the outside most of us will leave no real footprint (with the possible exception of some genetic material) after four generations...

There will be no one who remembers us.
No one who could tell you what ideas were important to us.
No one who knows what makes us laugh.

Nothing.

That's one way to look at it.


The other obvious way of seeing things is that life is so rare, so unlikely that it is precious, and shouldn't be wasted or squandered.

Everything we do is important, because (so far as we can tell) our little planet is the only embassy of life in this otherwise barren section of the observable universe. 

This is it.

How we treat it, how we treat each other and ourselves...
Well that's the only thing that is really important.

As I said, these views aren't mutually exclusive.

Ultimately I think a lot of the preventable strife we see in the world is in one way or another related to one of these two view points.

Our species doesn't like it when things don't make sense, and let's face it, the more we learn about the universe, the less our existence in it makes sense.

And our species also is prideful.
We like to feel important.

Much of what seems to put us at odds with each other, at least in recent decades, seems to derive from how we choose to cope with this.

Some folks look to religion.
Some folks look to science.
Some folks self destruct.
Some folks destroy the world around them.

Some do nothing.

Some do everything.

Some try to live on through their actions,
or their ability to procreate,
or their creativity.

Some try to live on in infamy (because, as we all know, fame and infamy aren't really all that different)

We are all guilty.

At our very best we are guilty of failing to think through the short term and long term consequences of our actions.

At our very worst, well we only need to look to our own history, or closely examine the world we live in today for examples of what our species is truly capable of.


Now, this is the point where some folks would urge you to join some hippie dippy movement (while some other folks would urge you to embrace one god or another, or to take up arms).

I'm not going to do any of those things, because (as I said) life is precious. 

Life is precious, life is meaningless, it isn't to be wasted, and it isn't to be worried about.

Most of what we think of as important, the politics, the causes, the petty wants and social posturing...  well it's just bullshit that has been created to keep us from thinking for ourselves.

And that's what I want you to do.

Each and every person who reads this.

All you students and stalkers and NSA agents and cyber personalities.

Think for yourself.
Think through your actions.
Examine your beliefs, and try to figure out where they come from.
Examine the information you are basing your beliefs on, and examine the people who are providing it to you.

Remember, life is precious, you don't want to spend it doing someone else's dirty work.

Don't forget, life is meaningless, there is no cause so important that is likely to be a water cooler conversation this time next millennium.

Life is precious, so don't let anyone co-opt yours, and don't try to steal anyone else's.

Life is meaningless, so lighten up for fuck sake.

And don't forget, everyone, without exception, is bullshitting.

Nobody is as together as they pretend to be.

Nobody really knows what's going on, and the ones that claim to are usually trying to get something from you.

Don't take my word for it.  Look at the world, I mean really look at it. 

See the cracks in the plaster, the stains on the backdrop.  Look for the camera tricks, try to see beyond the stage lighting and showmanship.

And when you think you've found the truth, try not to inflict it on anyone else. 
You can hint at it.
You can try to guide them toward it.

But never lose sight of the face that a little self analysis doesn't really make you an authority on anything.   Because as I said, we're all bullshitting, and we bullshit ourselves at least as well as we bullshit each other.

And when you've looked.

When you've learned as much as you can.

When you think you understand what's going on...

Remember that it doesn't really matter anyway, and maybe we're not meant to know what's going on.



Life is meaningless. 

Free yourself from the manufactured responsibilities and meaningless stresses that shackle you to an existence you hate.


Life is precious.

Try to find joy, and to bring joy to the people around you.

And, if you have any doubts, remember, it's all bullshit don'cha know.

Innovation

I'm sure I've mentioned it on here before, but my father is a very intelligent man.

Even when I was a dipshit teenager, I still could acknowledge that he is a very intelligent man.

He's also an educated man, often times a self educated man.  And I think that may be one of his greatest gifts to me.

See, when my father is curious about something (say, how something is made, or why something is done a certain way) he goes to great lengths to find out all he can about it.  This often includes learning how to make that particular thing and, almost as often results in him making a working version of that thing.

This is one of the things I've tried to pick up from him over the years.

You could say he taught it to me by example.


So, so far this year I've been doing a lot of work with copper because I got curious about it.

Last year I got curious about bow hunting and learning Japanese.

A few years back I got curious about mixing drinks, cooking, and plating food (and as a result I've managed to impress a couple of friends).   I spent months learning and doing these things.  And I can still remember most of them.

But my father, he's spent years doing things like this (Often improving on the methods and construction of various projects along the way...) 

In many ways he is a good match for my mother, in that he innovates and she perfects.

Recently they've become interested in ceramics and pottery (among other things).  And it's really fun to see them working together on projects.

At times I can almost imagine what they must have been like before having children, and I sometimes wish I could have known them at that time.

And tonight, with some of the health problems They've had recently, and some of the issues with their care providers,  I find myself thinking about just how much knowledge is going to leave the world when they die. 

And I find myself regretting the fact that, no matter how I try, I will never get to know them as well as I would like to.

Illumination

Often in life people take it on themselves protect each other from the truth.

Sometimes this serves a purpose,
I whine about things on the internet (relationships, past traumas, petty bullshit, etc.) so that the people around me don't have to listen to it. 

I figure if you're reading this, you've given me tacit permission to inflict these things on you, so it's your own fault if you read something you don't like.


This becomes a problem, however, if the things we are 'protecting' each other from are more dangerous hidden than out in the open.



Last week I stumbled blindly on to something that I wish the person involved had told me about at the time.

Instead, it seems this individual chose to 'protect' me from the truth, and in so doing sparked my suspicions about what else might have been going on.

The small amount of trust I have left for this person is rapidly evaporating.

I feel so protected...

Puncture.

Talked to you the other day, actually heard your voice.

Exchange of greetings,
promise to keep in touch,
well wishes and small talk.

I miss us.

Every time we talk,
write,
share.

I remember what was.

Traded addresses this morning.
Returning those last few reminders.
Doors closed.

Deflated.

Alone.

The lingering death.
Slow seduction of solitude.
Oblivion in each awkward pause.
Silence, carefully considered.

Sometimes, late at night, I wonder if it's possible that you miss me as much as I miss you.
If you want things back as much as I do.
If maybe, just maybe, we both don't know what to say...
So neither of us says anything.

2014

Let's hope this one is a bit better.